Friday, July 2, 2010

Reliability



When was the last time you told someone you would do something, but then did not do it?

Or you did it so poorly that everyone would have been better off if you had said "No" to begin with?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this, and about how important it is to be a reliable person in every situation in our lives. From being reliable when it comes to promises we make to family and friends, to our responsibilities at work. If we are not, and if people get used to the idea of us as unreliable people they will stop trusting us and relying on us and we might in the end lose important friendships or possibilities at work.
If you make a habit of breaking your promises, you will soon develop a reputation as an unreliable person. If you do not care what people think of you, then maybe there is no reason to worry about it. Nevertheless, if you are a Muslim, reliability should be a strong part of your character. It is a strongly emphasized trait in our Islamic texts! Even one reason our Prophet Mohammad was trusted by his followers when he came to them with the truth is that he already had a reputation as a trustworthy person and was known as "Al-Amin"!

When we say "Yes," but we are consistently unreliable and really mean “No”, we do more than damage our own reputation--we damage Islam’s reputation in the eyes of those who see it through us.
I have never met anyone who really wanted to be known as unreliable. But I have known many people who have too often said "Yes" when they meant and should have said "No." Or they have said "Yes," but then did not perform as they promised.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about the person who just occasionally does not live up to commitments. We have all experienced that from time to time. No, I am talking about the person who acquires a reputation for not being reliable. And who consistently promises something and does not follow thru.
I have a friend who, on a weekly basis makes plans with me, just to break them at the last moment. The interesting thing is that usually she is the one who suggests the plans. Then calls on the day that we are supposed to meet, sometimes only 30 mins before the meeting time, and runs me thru her excuse. In the beginning I would make all kinds of excuses for her, like she is busy, things came up, she didn’t mean to. But then when it happened 10 times in a row (yes I counted), her making and braking plans with me last minute, I just stopped being able to trust her and believe what she is saying, or that our friendship is important to her. So sadly in my mind she has been written off as a reliable person and someone I can count on or as someone who appreciates my friendship. So now when she suggests something, I just say sure, ok, and then I continue to make my other plans regardless, and without fail she cancels.
There are several reasons people become known as unreliable. Sometimes just recognizing the problem and simply making a conscious effort to do what you say you will do will change your reputation. Or perhaps you need to improve poor personal organization or develop your ability to say "No" to ensure that you can keep your commitments.
If your struggle involves knowing when or how to say "No," that is what you should address and learn how to be more assertive, instead of just saying “Yes”, misleading people that you want to do something, and then not following thru with it in the end.
A reliable person has a track record of keeping promises. An unreliable person shows he or she doesn't really care about others. You can't count on such a person. The benefits of being reliable include promotions at work, better personal relationships, and increased self-esteem.
Being considered reliable means that you are conscientious and keep your promises. A reliable person does not make excuses. People began to trust you and feel comfortable to make plans with you
Certainly, you would want to associate with a person you can count on. Supervisors want to keep employees that are reliable and who they can count on to come to work on time and to complete assigned tasks. Such a person is trusted to do as promised.
The benefits of being reliable are that people trust you and feel they can count on you. A reliable person will get and keep friends much easier than someone who is careless in personal relationships and can't be counted on to keep his or her word. A reliable worker will be trusted to do the job as promised and can reap the rewards of raises and promotions.
Being reliable is an admirable trait. We all dislike dealing with people who are unreliable, so being reliable is a character trait for which we should strive especially in building a strong Muslim character and a very important trait to mirror for our children.
People thank you for it. You get a good reputation. You also feel good about yourself when you do as promised. It is a good feeling to be "a man/woman of your word!"

5 comments:

Farnnay said...

I try so hard to be reliable. Like extremely hard. It's kinda sad, like I focus more on other people relying on me then on me relying on myself. Does that make sense?

Layla said...

Haha, ya it makes sense :) Hey, its not a bad thing if your focus on other people relying on you helps to make you more reliable by default :)
It is hard, I was posting it mainly as a reminder for myself

Fati said...

nice post. i understand the feeling constructive! we should give ourselves the same self-care and attention!

Unknown said...

It can be classified into two different categories , first one is the one you mentioned here, when a person assert something and somewhere inside she knows that she wouldn't do that, but in order to get others applause , concern and fake fame, she did that.

Secondly if someone wants to do something well for other, if someone has trust on herself & on her abilities and she wants to take responsibility of easing your difficulty then it is quite justifiable, whatever the result will be.

I would say one should not assess others reliability on the basis of her claim or promise; these are efforts, struggle and commitment till the last point which counts.

Layla said...

Thanks for ur comment Mobeen! I agree it is not good to be too quick in judgeing someone and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It does get so frustrating sometimes when a friend is a repeat offender :) and then it gets to the point that u cant rely on them and feel unsure weather to trust them with plans. I guess its a matter of how people choose to deal with situations, and I feel that people who in general have a hard time saying no in their lives often come across as unreliable because they agree too and make plans just to make other people happy.
We all have our quirks and downfalls, Allah knows I have mine. So I guess it is mostly an observatin.

Thnx again for stopping by!
Take care :)